– What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sofishticated.
– What do you say to Santa when he takes an attendance? Present.
– What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
– What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
– What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
– What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses.
– What do you call a fish that sings carols? A tuna fish.
– What do you call a deer that wears ear muffs? Anything you want. He can’t hear you.
– What do you call a dog that works for Santa? Santa Paws.
– What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut on Christmas Eve? A barberqueue.
– What do you call a Christmas tree that is good at math? A geomatree.
– What do you call a bird that likes to go skiing? A peng-win.
– What do you call a snake that works for Santa? A jingle boa.
– Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? He had low “elf” esteem!
– What do you call a sheep that sings carols? A wooly night.
– What do you call a bear that likes to dress up as Santa? A jolly old Saint Nickolas.
– What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!
– What do you call a horse that likes to dance in the snow? A snow hoof.
– Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his wrapping!
– What do you call a cow that likes to make jokes? A punny cow.
– What do you call a spider that likes to spin webs on the Christmas tree? A tinsel webber.
– What do you call a mouse that likes to steal cheese from the Christmas dinner table? A cracker jack.
– What do you call a frog that likes to hop around the Christmas tree? A mistletoad.
– What do you call a pig that likes to eat candy canes? A peppermint piggy.
– What do you call a rabbit that delivers presents on Christmas Eve? The Easter bunny. He has a lot of spare time.
– What do you call a camel that likes to sing carols? A camel-leon. He can change his tune anytime.
– Why was the Christmas tree so bad at sewing? It kept dropping its needles!
– What do you call an owl that likes to stay up late on Christmas Eve? A night owl. He’s always hooting and hollering.
– What do you call an elephant that likes to wrap presents? An elfant. He has a trunk full of gifts.
– What do you call a zebra that likes to wear red and white stripes on Christmas Day? A zanta. He’s always in the spirit.
– What do you call a turtle that likes to race with the reindeer? A turbot. He’s always speeding along.
– Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble? It was knotty!
– What do you call a kangaroo that likes to jump around the Christmas tree? A kanga-roo. He’s always bouncing with joy.
– What do you call a giraffe that likes to wear a scarf on Christmas Day? A gir-scarf. He’s always cozy and warm.
– What do you call an antelope that likes to play games on Christmas Day? An antel-play. He’s always having fun.
– Why did the Christmas turkey join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
– What do you call a flamingo that likes to stand on one leg on Christmas Day? A flamin-go. He’s always ready to go.
– What do you call a hedgehog that likes to curl up under the Christmas tree? A hedge-hug. He’s always cuddly and cute.
– What do you call a sloth that likes to sleep on the couch on Christmas Day? A sloth-iday. He’s always taking it easy.
– What do you call an octopus that likes to decorate the Christmas tree with his arms? An octo-pus. He’s always handy and helpful.
– What do you call an alligator that likes to eat cookies on Christmas Eve? An alli-gator. He’s always hungry and greedy.
– What do you call an ostrich that likes to stick his head in the snow on Christmas Day? An ostrich-mas. He’s always curious and adventurous.
– What do you call a rhino that likes to charge at the presents on Christmas Day? A rhino-saur. He’s always excited and eager.
– What do you call a parrot that likes to repeat the carols on Christmas Day? A parrot-y. He’s always festive and cheerful.
– What do you call a dolphin that likes to swim in the pool on Christmas Day? A dolph-in. He’s always cool and refreshing.
– What do you call a koala that likes to hang on the Christmas tree? A koala-ty. He’s always cute and adorable.
– What do you call a llama that likes to spit at the mistletoe on Christmas Day? A llama-drama. He’s always naughty and mischievous.
– What do you call a porcupine that likes to prick the balloons on Christmas Day? A porcu-pain. He’s always sharp and witty.
– What do you call a skunk that likes to spray the eggnog on Christmas Day? A skunk-nog. He’s always stinky and smelly.
– What do you call a seal that likes to clap his flippers on Christmas Day? A seal-ebrate. He’s always happy and joyful.
Okay – some of those are pretty corny. But these are even more fun – which is where I got the idea: 100 Funniest Christmas Puns of 2023: Hilarious Holiday One-Liners (rd.com)
